


Forgive me for the monster I have become

by Babyyodaism



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25773868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Babyyodaism/pseuds/Babyyodaism
Summary: 3 years after the events of revenge of the sith Darth Vader still has conflict with his past self Anakin SkywalkerHow will Vader overcome his past and become the sith he is meant to be?
Relationships: Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker





	Forgive me for the monster I have become

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning/// Depression, Suicide, Murder, Violence  
> I decided to write a fairly short story of my depressed babies sorry guys
> 
> Ps:Had to do a few updates cause it didn't look right to me but I think I have my fair share of editing now, anyways I’ll shut up (Let me know in the comments if I made an error so I can correct it)

Lord Vader” The Emperor calls out your name getting your attention  
“Yes, my master” you kneel in front of him  
“Have you gotten any information from Tarkin on where the secret rebel base is located?”  
“Yes, master they are located on the planet Yavin”  
“You’ve done well”

Your master looks up at the Red Guards  
“Guards, leave us”  
You see them exit the room  
“Now, Rise my friend”  
You slowly get up off of your knees to reach the height of your master  
“Walk with me Apprentice” 

The emperor slowly walks towards the large window that’s located behind his throne  
You soon follow behind  
“You are distressed Lord Vader, Is there something bothering you?”  
“No, I am fine my master”  
You see him slowly raise his left hand to rest on your shoulder  
“Are you though?”  
You can tell he was trying to read your emotions feel your anger and hate that radiates off of you 

“Ahh I see”  
You slowly tilt your head down not trying to read the expression on his face  
“Your trying to hide your rage from me why?  
You stay silent not speaking a word  
He removes his hand from your shoulder  
“You hold a lot of conflict in you Lord Vader“  
Not this again  
“Anakin Skywalker keeps you from being the powerful Sith Lord you are or can be”  
Your past self was gone there was only Vader  
“Anakin Skywalker was weak I destroyed him”  
“Did you? Yet Skywalker holds so much power over you it’s pathetic!!”

He force grabs your lightsaber from your belt igniting it and holding it against your throat but you didn’t flinch  
“Besides Skywalker, who stands in your way Lord Vader who holds you back?”  
He grumbles low  
“My disappointment grows with you by the second apprentice let go of that life and dwell in the actions and decisions that have led you here”  
He pulls the saber away from your throat switching it off and handing it back to you  
“Thank you for the information Lord Vader we will discuss matters later on until then leave”  
He settles back into his throne as you turn a heel and walk towards the exit 

Once you reached your ship you took off to your castle that awaits you on the coal mines of Mustafar  
Reaching your personal chambers you sat down and rested rethinking the advice and words Sidious gave you

You finally agreed with yourself that you will somehow always be held down by your past by Anakin by Padmé  
“Padmé” that name echoed in your head your sweet Padmé  
visions then came flooding into your mind of what you did to her how she pleaded to you and how you destroyed her life  
Reliving the moments of when Sidious informed that you killed her out of your own hatred for Obi-Wan 

Looking down at your saber while observing it you pointed it at your heart  
You took in a slow breath laying your finger on the activation button wanting to take the easy way out 

You were seconds away from ending your own life until you heard a familiar voice whisper your name  
“Anakin” you looked around looking for the person who just called you out by your birth name  
“Who is there” echoes throughout the chambers  
“Ani, my sweet Ani”  
You turn around to see a silhouette walking towards you  
Once close enough you see the face of the love of your life 

“Padmé” her name shivers in your voice  
“My sweet Ani, I’ve missed you”  
No this was a trick it was not real just your mind playing tricks on you  
You back up slowly away from the imposter  
“You're not really here you’re just a vision”  
The figure approaches you slowly putting her hands on the side of your helmet  
“I am real and I’m here for you Ani”  
You remove her hands from you  
“Stop calling me that!”  
You back away from her looking into her brown orbs not being able to resist her presence you fall to your knees before her 

“Padmé, I’m- I’m so sorry my love”  
Light tears falling behind your mask  
Padmé falls down to your height observing you for a moment then she removes your helmet  
Looking at your true scared burnt up face she caresses your face  
“You have nothing to be sorry about, Anakin”  
“I’ve done such horrible things”  
“No you didn’t, Vader did this you are innocent”  
You lay your head in her arms as she holds you  
“Give me another chance Padmé give me a chance to make things right, give me a chance to let me love you again” 

You plead her in whispers  
“Oh, Ani”  
She picks your face up and looks at you  
” I love y-“ her sentence stops as y’all both look down to a saber that pierced her chest draining her life  
“No! No! PADMÉ No, No, No,”  
Her body drops as you see the man who just took her life  
It was you. 

“NO DON’T DO THIS PADMÉ NOT AGAIN NO I’M SORRY OH GOD WHAT DID I DO?”  
You hop up to your feet with anger spread across your face trying to kill Vader trying to kill your demon  
But as soon as you strike at him he disappears  
As you back up and look for Padmé she wasn’t there it was only you alone...  
Realizing that this was your own personal hell you let go of your past life and give into the temptation of Darth Vader  
Anakin and Padmé Skywalker are dead  
There is only Vader....


End file.
